Monday, September 14, 2009

truant truths

Mood...: [ 2]
Feelin...: [ semi-aware ]
Thinkin...: [ life-turning events ]
Watchin...: [ -- ]
Readin...: [ -- ]
Lissenin...: [ -- ]
Displayin...: [ purple t, huge dark-blue shorts ]
Doin...: [ "thinking" would be the answer... but my mind's too idle for its own good ]
Quotin...: [ "--" ]

i guess i have plenty of things to think through right now.
i never liked making people suffer... make them in pain.. much less, cry.
when you make someone you care about, and who probably cares about you more than you care about them, or at least in an equal term, you just GOTTA do some serious thinking about your current life-style.

my mom woke me up this morning... she was really upset.
we talked.. well.. she talked for about 20 minutes.
i just listened, trying to absorb anything she said.. but her crying was so much, it was hard for me to concentrate on most of what she said.

one thing's certain tho'.
my life's gonna change a LOT as of today, like it or not.
i can't live as a vegetable forever... selfishly absorbing resources around me.
i don't have roots. i have legs. wings too large to catch the dust that lands on it.
i must learn to use them both if i'll ever survive this harsh world we all live in, human or not.

Friday, September 11, 2009

tired steampunk

Mood...: [ 7 ]
Feelin...: [ sleepy ]
Thinkin...: [ steampunk tech ]
Watchin...: [ caminho das indias (¬¬;; dont ask) ]
Readin...: [ the host, by stephenie meyer ]
Lissenin...: [ -- ]
Displayin...: [ gray t and beige shorts; social tennis and socks ]
Doin...: [ nothing of constructive ]
Quotin...: [ "are you ready to play the game... ready to lose it all... sure you want to play?" ]

ive been tired before.
mostly, ive been used to being tired.
but today, i feel a very different kind of tired;
as most of you know, i have insomnia. i can't sleep before around 4 or 5... and i slept at nearly 6am today.
i only went because i knew my grandmother would be waking up very soon.

said and done.

two hours later she wakes me up, threatening me with a cup of water.
bless her.
after a few times asking "why was she doing this to me" i gave up and decided to give her a hug.
quite unusual for me actually o_O
regardless. my sleepiness made me forget one crucial detail in the general picture.

she had a cup of water in her hands!!

the water did, in the end, find its way into my face.. i barely felt it, except the water went in my eyes... it burned O_O
im not sure if she wanted to laugh or to scream at me.. but she went to fill the cup with water again in the bathroom -- i closed the door behind her and ran away a few feet from her.. i kept looking between the cup filled with water to the top (the other one was only about a finger or two) and her face.. she looked incredibly angry...
i was sleepy. i was confused. and i was wet.
but i was not angry.

i was very surprised for not exploding at her... i just laughed at my silly, pathetic situation.
i kind of asked for it...

i wonder if i woke her up when i went to bed oO
how did she know?
had my cousin told her anything?

he really should learn to keep his mouth tightly shut... but i guess that's part of his programming.
our programming are exactly the same, only in the aspect that they are completely opposite.
im quiet. he's loud.
im intro. he's extro.
im annoying. he's twice as annoying.
... see the pattern?

anyway. that aside.
it all happened this morning and i only got two hours of sleep. hence the tiredness.
as for steampunk, i was scrambling through the internet searching for laptops to show my japanese friend (souka-san) what it was... apparently, they don't have the word "laptop" in japanese.
anyway.
i found something very.. very inspiring.
the answer for my technological problems in yannika:

STEAMPUNK TECHNOLOGY~!

why did i think of that while searching for laptops?
well. that's easy.
the thing actually WORKS.
what these japanese don't come up with, honestly...

on a side, and much smaller note.
i'm still waiting for my mother's reply on what she needs from me to get my family visa ready so i can come and go from england as i wish.
i really feel my nephew's absence. and i've never met my niece - i'll really enjoy seeing them both.
and the rest of my family.
my mother, in specific.
i don't often miss anyone or anything in my life, but the more i see that my time is getting close to leaving brasil, the more i miss my family.
it's incredible.
put aside the fact that i'm leaving one family and somewhat replace it for another.
but this family isn't my tribe.
i need to be with my tribe again, and i am nowhere near it.
my father's over a thousand km from me, my mother ten times that distance.
time's nearing.

x, out.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

1001 question questionnaire

well this is where i'll be putting it... it's too long, so i'll put it in little by little. ಠ_ಠ

this is gonna take awhile.. ಥ.ಥ

LETS BEGIN!!

The Basics
1.) Your name: Yann
2.) Nicknames: i dont think i have any sticky nicknames.. most people give me a nickname and forget it xD except my sister, who always calls me "nene".. stronger second "ne"
3.) Do you like these nicknames?: hmm. sordakinda. i dont mind IT.
4.) Location: 2 places at every given time: somewhere on earth (im not static.. tho currently, im in brasil's capital, where i was born) and somewhere on yannika (again, not static. tho i'm currently doing some kind of vital research in Lybraria, First Skyer)
5.) Age: 24
6.) Birthday: 12th of january
7.) Zodiac sign: capricorn
8.) Parents names: vera lucia and carlos alberto
9.) Siblings?: there are 2: yuri (29) and yuska (27).. im the youngest.
10.) Pets: a canine godchild named Kiara, whose breed is rottweiller xD
11.) Number of rooms in your house: gma's place: 2 bedrooms, 1 living room, 1 frikkin huge kitchen, one tiny service area, 2 restrooms and the nameless place i am currently situated.
12.) Religion: normally, im protestant. but im mostly non-religions -- its more like a belief system.
13.) If so-practicing?: not exactly.
14.) Male or Female?: male, i hope.
15.) Is your family close?: relatively, yes.

[::/16 through 1001 will continue when i post my next blog entry\::]

happy day

ok, its time. ^^

(i was gonna do this anyway, even though you reminded me.. i was just lost in thought at midnight XD)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMIE!!
today is one of my most favoritestest of days - the day you were born.
tho i've only known you since you were what... 7? heh
and we never even met.. wow.

you are my favorite (verbally adopted) little sister.
hope today is a great day for you, and that people have enough common sense to take a picture of you so i can see it all~! ^^

God bless you from today for the next 365 (and a quarter) days, when i hope He'll bless you again for the same period of time. ^^

edit: i just realised.
i've known you for almost half of your life O.o lol
way to go! xD
anyway. happy 14th sammie ^^

fun and games (2.0)

Mood...: [ 8 ]
Feelin...: [ like jelly ]
Thinkin...: [ quickly ]
Watchin...: [ -- ]
Readin...: [ the host, by stephenie meyer or city of bones, by clarissa claire ]
Lissenin...: [ my own thoughts ]
Displayin...: [ gray t and midnight blue police-like trousers ]
Doin...: [ socializing. mostly. ]
Quotin...: [ "--" ]

today was a fairly different day from all other days.
to begin with, i barely slept last night. stupid insomnia.
then my uncle arrived and made me help him remove the window blinds from my room and the living room (they used to be... connected) in order to put new blinds up -- it actually looks pretty nice now.
since i dont have a good-enough camera to take the pictures, i won't be adding any yet.
same with videos.
i got full of the powdery dust from the ancient blinds that used to hang for as long as this appartment existed.
i'm not sure what came over me when i realised i was covered in the white powdery stuff, but i nearly fell to the floor laughing so hard...
i managed to compose myself long enough so no one would see me laughing, but it was fairly hysterical.
at least from my point of view.

for the past 2 days, i've been helping my verbally adopted youngest sister, namely "sammie", with her book.
its actually a lot more fun than i had previously anticipated;
giving her ideas, and have her listen to them (most of the time).
it ends up, she's actually a very capable writer.
i especially enjoy reading her dialogues - they're comical and serious at the same time; kind of like the things i enjoy reading - in my eyes, she has enormous potential to write a bestseller, no contest.
say, "harry potter" level.

helping sammie with her book this way gave me a spark, regardless of how small, to continue my own books, which have been frozen in time for awhile.
i wrote seven chapters of it a few years ago, but never got to work on it again until a couple of months ago, when i finally got the beginning how i (more or less) wanted it to.
i might ask sammie to help me with the dialogues...
between you (the internet.. how ironic.) and me, my dialogue skills are not the best out there.
sammie's dialogue skills are probably far better than mine, although i'm more descriptive about things.
but what makes a book, among many other things, is the dialogue and not the pretty (and) scary things a writer might be able to describe.
i'll post the first three chapters on here soon enough for every one to read. they're basically ready for print, so i don't see a problem with sharing.
the book will be called Yannika Chronicles. the sub-title is yet to be chosen, but i'm fairly sure what it will be.

speaking of whom, sammie's the one who got me interested into reading the twilight series, by stephenie meyer.
in a scale from 0 to 10, i rate the series in this order (comparing to all the books i have ever read in my life):
twilight: 8
new moon: 7
eclipse: 6.5
breaking dawn: 7

i'm also reading something i found around the internet that's fairly interesting. not ure if its official or not.
it's basically the first book of the series, but in the main male character's point of view (so far) - it gives us a little more insight into the story. it's called:
midnight sun: (not yet rated; haven't finished reading yet)
next up, either city of bones (by clarissa claire or the host [another title by stephenie meyer])...
it's not easy getting my hands on city of ashes...

id bet anything that sammie would decapitate me clean and painlessly if i read the host before i got around to reading city of bones, so it is yet undecided.
even though she made me obsess over twilight for so long, she said she ended up disliking it once she started reading it again... said the writer can't write worth her life.
this confuses me, but ah well.

moving on.
i found another server for San Andreas Multiplayer (SA-MP). it was quite enjoyable. i played it for a good two hours straight without noticing the time... alas, the game crashed and i was brought back to my non-world-war-three reality. since the official and public server lists aren't showing up, i'm pretty much stuck with whatever i have in my favorite servers' list...

today was also a strange day because, after about a week without speaking to my mother about my trip back to europe, i spoke to her today through windows live messenger.
the chat was short, but full of content.
firstly, the school i was enrolled there said that i would need to pay another two and a half thousand pounds to fix my hours in order for me to get the visa.
the minimal hours for that is twenty hours - i had fifteen.
so, somewhat jokingly - half for reasons to make my mom worry (you know. youngest sons and all... we do that naturally - but i never do. not naturally anyway. so i have to really try hard to do worry someone), i suggested i went to scotland to visit some family we have there, and from there send my suitcase to london, where my siblings live.
here's the catch.
i'd go south to kent with nothing but good wills and a backpack to my name.
she really disliked that idea.
but after awhile, she thought better and realised it may be a good idea after all - except instead of going to england on foot, as i had previously, jokingly suggested, she suggested one of my "clan" to go and pick me up.
we'd return by car.
hm. no fun on that. but i guess it's ok for now.
there goes my first chance to "train" for my life-plans of going cross-continent on foot from europe all the way to the southern-most reaches of japan, through russia of course.
i'm sure i'll get other chances. i just can't tell my mom about it.
not for now.

something else.
an old friend of mine sent me an audio file; the "virtual barbershop".
if you can find it, listen to it. i'm sure it can be found somewhere on the internet.
in case you feel too lazy for it, i did a quick google search and found this site, noob.us
(just click on the orange italics and it should take you directly there. they have a download link for you if you don't feel like listening to it, or your i-net is as crappy as mine. if you listen to it, make sure you're using headphones (not speakers) and have them set correctly - right ear on right ear, left on left. volume on as natural as you can. its not another scare tactic, so no worries there.)
they already talked some about it, so it might be pointless to repeat what they said. if anything, they have better instructions. heh
regardless, if you want me to send you the file, i would be more than happy to.
anyway, give them a visit. i'm sure they wouldn't mind - if you leave the a comment, make sure you tell them who sent you.

so, life goes on and moods swing and shatter.
i survive yet another day, another week, in the life of yann.

that reminds me, i need to create a post telling you about who and what i am... i'll ask sammie for one of those one-thousand-question questionaire she might have lying around in her pc...

well, that's that for now.
if you had enough patience to read up to here, fair well, and God bless, friend.
x, out.